A Proper (Cross) Post from our beloved Alicia at InnyVinny:

  

If you’re following me on the Twitter and have been paying attention for the last day or so, you’ve probably noticed that I have a problem with a certain video by a certain wife of Jay-Z featuring Lady Gaga.  After having a discussion about said video tonight, I’ve decided to do a formal post about why the video for Video Phone is going to be the death of America and the destruction of innocence.

 

Actually, it probably won’t lead to either of those things, but this video is generally irresponsible as hell.

 

Aside from the imagery that is basically Guantanamo Bay/Abu Ghraib in technicolor…you know what, fuck an “aside.”  I want to know who greenlit the use of half naked men in hoods with guns pointed at their heads?

 

Anyone?

 

Hype?

 

Bey?

 

Mama Tina?

 

Beuller?

 

I’d love to think that this was some sort of commentary on the war and torture, but the facts that (a) it’s Beyonceand (b) every cute and attractive shade of neon is used in the scene lead me to believe that this was just an extreme lack of situational awareness (read: BAD FUCKING JUDGEMENT).

 

 

 

I couldn’t get a picture of one of our boys pointing a gun, but I’m prettyfreakinsure that’s happened…

 

Now I don’t want to make this a commentary on the war (it’s BULLSHIT), torture (the excuses I’ve heard sound a lot like those used during the Nuremberg trials), and other political type shit, so I’ll move on…to the point I was going to make after that first “aside.”

 

*deep breath*

 

I’m generally having a problem with Bey’s new direction in styling for her videos.  It seems to me that she gets progressively nekkid-er and dances increasingly more stripper-y with each new release.  I’m all for celebrating your curves, but I’ve seen Bey’s crotch more than I’ve seen my own.  Her waxer does an AMAZING job.  Of course, I didn’t need to know that info, but after watching Put a Ring on It, Diva, Ego, Sweet Dreams, and now Video Phone, I can’t help but wonder who her esthetician is.

 

Now, if I may put on my Helen Lovejoy hat and get to the meat of this post:

 

WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

 

Let’s be real, kids.  A HUGE portion of the viewers of these videos are under the age of consent.  A lot of them aren’t even in junior high.  I would like to think that informs some of her decisions on how her videos should be, but I don’t think that’s happening.  Now, before you get all “what about the parents?” on me, consider the following:

 

Parents can’t control what their children are exposed to all of the time.

 

Scenario #1: Back when I was in 4th grade, my best friend was having a sleepover for her birthday.  After enough giggling, fawning over Jodeci videos, and miscellaneous stuff, we watched the movie Kids.   Ironically, that movie should NEVER be watched by kids.  EVER.  Sure, her parents were in the house, but they didn’t know she’d nicked the movie for us to see.

 

Scenario #2: When I turned 11, I had a sleepover and my friend introduced me to the half-fuzzed out Spice channel.  If you’re unfamiliar, it’s exactly what you think it is.  WHAT?  I was curious!

 

But where were my parents?

 

They were everywhere else save for those two particular (and very extreme) incidents.  My parents, especially my father, were extremely strict.  I couldn’t own CDs with the parental advisory label, I couldn’t listen to certain radio stations (I have a vast knowledge of 50s, 60s, and 70s music as a result), TV time was limited to Nickelodeon and Nick at Nite.  For all of their effort, I should have been a squeaky clean kid.

 

Umm, not so much.

 

Sure, I bore the status of valedictorian on a few occasions, but I managed to get into my fair share of shit.  And this was when television was the main way to get into less than savory stuff.  Today, the list of things that parents are supposed to be policing has grown TREMENDOUSLY.  I’d really like to hear from any parents out there on if and how they effectively keep their kids away from these kinds of images when they are coming via the television, the computer, the ipod, the cell phone, and whatever else their friends may possess that can also access said images.  I’m willing to wager that it’s impossible to do without becoming a Neo-Luddite.

 

I’m pretty sure you all can think of a time you got into something or had something that you knew your parents would knock you into next week for having.  Don’t worry.  I’ll wait.

 

Now that your memory is jogged, I’ll move on.

 

As children, the majority of behaviors we learned become so by first mimicking things we saw followed by positive or negative reinforcement.  I won’t bore you with details, but if you do something and get a laugh, clap or positive attention, you’re likely to keep doing it.  My gripe is that little girls who admire Bey will probably be moved to mimic this gun grinding, half-naked gyrating and look for some sort of reinforcement.  Some of that will come from parents:

 

 (ok, I KNOW this is a little boy, but peep how even a diaper, he’s trying his damnedest to keep up)

 

(now this IS adorable, but Put a Ring On It is pretty mild…)

 

But what about the ones who don’t get that reinforcement from their parents?  Who, instead look to their friends for reinforcement?  Those who think walking around with tits, tummies and thighs out and grinding on poles in front of little boys is the thing to do?  WHAT ABOUT THEM?!?

 

 

I’ll tell you what happens.  They grow up and become productive citizens…who might earn a little extra cash by stripping on the side.  Remember, if you are positively rewarded after doing some hoe shit, you’re probably going to go out and do more hoe shit.  It’s psychology.  Get into it.

 

Ronnie says, “You got to you use what you got to get what you want!”

 

I’m not blaming Beyonce for hypersexualized children running around dry humping each other.  I am calling her irresponsible as hell for KNOWING that she is adored by young girls around the globe and putting out Video Phone to placate their desire to see more of her.

 

Or maybe I’m just hypersensitive because I read stuff like this and fear for my future progeny.  Who knows?

—

On the UPSIDE, because I don’t just rant and actually kinda like the song, Video Phone did inspire this masterpiece:

 

 

I just can’t hate on this.  Y’all know I love trannymen.  Remind me to tell you the story about how I used to be a backup dancer for a drag queen in my heyday.

—

Bey,

 

You’re a great performer.  Definitely one of the best to do it in this generation.  I love you to pieces, but you need to put on some damn pants every now and again.  And I think the floor is clean enough from you dropping down low and sweeping the floor with it.

 

Love,
Alicia

—

 

To donate to the Let’s Get Beyonce Some Leggings Or Something Fund, email me.  We have to do something about this shit here.

Discuss…

 

Earlier: “Ghetto” Beyonce is Just More Fun

Tags: Abu Ghraib, Beyonce, innyvinny.com, Lady Gaga, Single Ladies, Video Phone