Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, of simping text message fame, was released today after serving 99 days behind bars. He has supposedly lost 25 pounds (I can’t tell) and has grown a rather impressive Freeway/Rick Ross beard. Perhaps to spare the people of Detroit constant embarrassement by showing up at random places all the time (who wants to see the old triflin mayor when you’re at Greek Town playing the slots??), Kilpatrick and family are moving to Texas. In fact the Kwamster already has a job interview lined up for tomorrow. Take that, Recession:

 

“The job prospect is very, very, very favorable,” Gary told reporters. “We want to make sure he can get, and land, the job. That’s his first thing. He wants a job. That’s what he is concerned about now. He wants to get with his family, get with his kids so he can start his life again.”

 

The next five years, though, will be spent on probation and paying off the bulk of $1 million in restitution to the city. He also has had his law license revoked.

 

If Kilpatrick lands the job in Texas, he must first get permission to transfer his probation from Michigan to that state. [HuffPost]

 

I know what you’re thinking. Your cousin June Bug been out of jail for four months and all he did was hold somebody’s weed and he still can’t get a job interview at CVS. Sucks to be him, I suppose. Looks like the Kwamster’s landing on his feet.

 

 

Below, a few of the more PC Kilpatrick-Beatty text messages, for old time’s sake.

 

Tags: Christine Beatty, Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick