French newspaper Le Monde unearthed an interview the Obamas did in 1996 (four years after tying the knot and two years before Malia was born) for a book about marriages that was never published. ABC News translated the Obamas’ separate interviews to English and the result is, well, simply beautiful. While we’ve heard some of the things they touch on before, this is confirmation that their remarks about their marriage along the campaign trail weren’t just some David Axelroded-out fluff, but their actual sentiments. Stuff like this makes me all mushy inside:

 

Describing Michelle as “alluring” and with “a strong personality,” the future President says, “if you look deep into her eyes, there’s a certain vulnerability. In any case, I see it even if most don’t realize it: she goes through life tall, beautiful, confident, very able…There’s a part of her that is fragile, young, sometimes scared, and I think these are contradictions that attracted me to her. And she makes me very happy. She is very familiar to me and so I can be myself around her, she knows me well, I completely trust her, but at the same time in certain respects she remains a mystery to me.”

“Sometimes, when we’re lying together,” he says, “I look at her and I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another distinct person from me, who has memories, origins, thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. That tension between familiarity and mystery meshes something strong between us. Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that’s it’s important that a partner continues to surprise.” [Barack as quoted in ABC News]

 

I know that’s right. [A mom-like response was clearly required]

 

The piece goes on to describe’s Michelle’s hesitancy to step into the public sphere, but her utlimate willingness to help Barack follow his dreams. Even back then she suspected he would reach for greatness:

 

“We may go in that direction, even though I also want to have children, travel, and spend time with my family and friends. It’s not certain that we will succeed. But we’re going to be very busy with a number of different things, and it’s going to be interesting to see what life has to offer to us. We’re ready to take on that adventure for various reasons, for instance, for the opportunities it can open to us.”

 

 We get to see Michelle for the type of partner she really is: part of a supportive marital team. She’s not the angry black woman the right wing tried so hard to concoct out of sound bites and unflattering cartoons.

 

Similarly, Barack’s interview adds dimension to the “Strong Black Woman” stereotype (or any strong woman, for that matter)– yes, Michelle is “tall, beautiful, confident [and] very able” but she’s also human, and as such has her vulnerable points. Many men are so intimidated by confident women like Michelle that they never get a chance to see  the other dimensions of strong women’s personalities. These men lose out in the end. After Christmas I ran across an article by BET’s Touré that is the epitome of Insecure Male Syndrome. As he rounds up who he deems the  ”Thinking Man’s Sex Symbols,” he reveals his own fear of strong female personas:

 

The upper mind, when employed, is moved by intelligence, success, power, self-confidence, a smart sense of humor, and, of course, not having a castrating nature.

And that’s the challenge. Can a woman be independent, creative, sharp, witty, strong, and self-empowering without making me feel like she wants to be a man? [Source]

 

Oh, Touré, are you really asking that question? All that Black Exploitation Television must have addled his brain. There’s nothing castrating about a woman who is poised, looks you in the eye, has a firm handshake and will call you out on misquoting James Baldwin and Jay-Z (that’s Proper Talks in a nutshell!). These are the women who push themselves and their men to be the best possible. And the vast majority of these women don’t want to cut off anyone’s genitalia. So, I don’t know about you, but I sleep a little easier knowing a woman with Michelle’s strength and intelligence is about to set up shop on Pennsylvania Ave.

Tags: Angry Black Woman, Barack Obama, Le Monde Interviews, Malia Obama, Michelle Obama, Obama Marriage, Strong Black Women, Thinking Man's sex Symbols, Touré