Universal Mind Control is out today, and I stayed up way too late writing this open letter to one of the only true Hip Hop loves I have left:

Dearest Common, or Lonnie, or Rashid, whichever you prefer,

 

First off, let me say this: I’m not trying to put you in a box. I dig change, I really do. I followed Kanye to emo-land and I’ll follow him to the top of a volcano if that’s what it comes to, because despite the vocoder tubes and tribal drums he continues to be genuine. I’ve stuck by Mariah (don’t judge me) throughout the Westside Connection and DipSet collabos, rainbows, Spandex and Glitter of the past decade. Hell, I’m still here despite Nick Cannon!

 

I understand that artists are people and they grow and adapt like the rest of us. You say you want to have fun. I can dig it, I like fun too. But no matter the transformations, an artist’s general philosophy should be consistent, and when that seems to be switching up, I feel betrayed.

 

That being said, Common– why did you break my heart? Universal Mind Control started out decently enough, the title track made me wish I could break and I was happy you looked like you were having fun. “Punch Drunk Love” with Kanye was a little raunchy, but in a good way. You know, that harmless kind of raunchy that’s just good clean fun, like doin the butt to “Doin the Butt” at a house party? But then, things got messy.

 

In “The Annuncment” you say “I still love her she be needin a dick/ When it comes to hip hop it’s just me and my bitch.” Pharrell follows in his bootleg Biggie voice with “my dick is like a blowpop, baby.” Ugh, I thought you were better than these tired lines. Remember in “The Light” when you said, “I’ll never call you my bitch or even my boo/There’s so much in a name and so much more to you”?? In “Retrospect for Life” you assured me that you’d stick by a woman, even when tough life decisions needed to be made. Well, I feel like you were leering and sneering at me on this new album, yelling “Ay yo Slim, why you ain’t call me last night?” like the dudes who used to chill on my block on 131st and Lenox. This exhausts me.

 

You’ve had sexy tracks before, “So Far to Go” was the jam and you even talked about your threesome fantasies in “Go,” but you never crossed that line. You knew how to be respectful so as a woman I never felt alienated, never felt like I had to compromise a part of myself to enjoy what you had to say. Well, I guess that’s out the window now and you want me to compartmentalize myself like I do when listening to everyone else.

 

You do more than diss women on UMC, you spit some really lame rhymes. In ”Announcement” you say “Freestyle paid off, so Lincoln paid me/Now we can push more whips than slavery.” Whips? Slavery?? It’s just tragic, like Nas in his Nastradamus days saying “Owe me back like forty acres to blacks/Pay me back when you shake it like that.” Trivializing slavery to holler at a hoochie?? One of the lowest points in his career.

 

The rest of your album delivered no real redemption. I will admit that I like “Make My Day” with Cee-Lo. But for most of the second half it felt like you were trying to appease those of us who bought the album for the “old” Common. You threw in a few hope-change type songs but I was still hurt from the first half and couldn’t take you seriously. And you still insisted on dissing women. In Gladiator* you say ”Some of you model bitches is so overrated.” Bitches? You’re 36 years old…leave the models alone if they’re so whack.

 

I could blame Pharrell like the Times, but I don’t think production was the problem– the beats were energetic and I don’t think they inhibited you. I could blame your label, I could even blame the recession, but really the onus falls on you, Common. The lyrics were the problem, and I hope think you know that. However, I’m willing to look past this one album because you love the kids, you dance in the kitchen and you say you still love H.E.R. Maybe you just needed to get this out of your system. But please, don’t make me into the type of girl who stays in abusive relationships. Shape up or I’m shipping out for good, no bullshit.

 

Love,

 

Angela

*Update: One thing I said here was semi-not correct. The following gchat convo explains it all:

 

Tags: Cee-Lo, Common, Kanye West, Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon, Pharrell, Retrospect for Life, The Light, Universal Mind Control